WHY I EMBRACE BEING SINGLE
When I say I’m a hopeless romantic, you might roll your eyes and think I’m the same as every other girl on this earth that says that - the all-too-typical, desperate-for-a-boyfriend type of girl, who’s filled with angst every time a relationship doesn’t work out… But I’m not.
I’m a hopeless romantic, that part is true. I’m nearly 20, a sophomore in college, and I’ve yet to have my first boyfriend. However, you’d be wrong in assuming I’m desperate for a relationship - I’m single, and I’m happy I am.
If I’m being honest, I can’t say there hasn’t ever been a time when I’ve caught myself staring down a couple sharing an Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun moment - believe me, I have. Just because I’m happy being single doesn’t mean I don’t wonder what it’s like to have a relationship like that.
With that said - I LOVE BEING SINGLE! However, it took me a long time to be able to come to a place to say that, and actually mean it. Being single is OKAY. It is, it is absolutely, 100 percent, perfectly okay. In fact, it’s awesome!
It truly makes me L-O-L when I see high school girls complaining about having never had a boyfriend, or when I overhear a 12-year old telling someone how they’re embarrassed because they’ve never kissed a boy - HELLO?! You are TWELVE! When I was 12, boys definitely still had cooties. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 17 - AND I’M OKAY WITH THAT! (For the record, my first kiss story is awesome and beats all of yours. I’ll post a link HERE soon with that story.) AND GUESS WHAT? If you’re older than 17 and still haven’t had your first kiss, THAT’S OKAY TOO. So girls, please, relax.
I hate to admit it, but at one time, I was one of those high school girls - the girl that wondered why boys didn’t like her, and why she still didn’t have a boyfriend… Truthfully, I can’t say there aren’t still some days when I think it would be nice having a boyfriend, (Uh, hello, Valentine’s Day sucks for singles!) but in general, I’m absolutely okay with NOT having a BF, and here are some of the reasons why I don’t just like - but LOVE - being single:
- Independence - my parents always told me that I don’t need a man to complete me. DAMN RIGHT I don’t! I am a very independent person, and you often lose that in relationships.
- No commitment - the only person you have to worry about making happy is yourself. You’re living for yourself and not someone else.
- You can kiss people other than your relatives - WHAT?! Yes, I said it. Go make out with whoever you want, and don’t feel bad about it! (Not you, 12-year olds…) YOU can make out without whoever you want, and your coupled-up friends can’t. #WIN
- Once I stopped obsessing about why I didn’t have a boyfriend, I was able to take a step back and admire my awesome qualities. I’m smart, driven, motivated, beautiful, and I love life! Worry about boys? Yeah… #AintNobodyGotTimeFoDat
- Boys are IMMATURE (most of them) - So many girls expect this fairy tale, Notebook-style relationship in high school. HELLO - High school boys are NOT ready to settle down. Don’t waste your time on someone (a large majority of boys) who won’t value your worth.
- Boys are gross, and they smell. (this was absolutely necessary to include)
- You can go days without shaving.
- A relationship will come when it’s meant to come - I know you’re sick of hearing it, but it’s true. I’m not particularly religious, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Although I’m sketpical, I’d like to believe there’s a soulmate out there for everyone. Don’t force a relationship - it won’t happen. Boys will run in the opposite direction. I know being patient is hard, but like I said, don’t complain about never having had a boyfriend. You are too young to do that. The moment you stop worrying about finding someone is probably when it will happen. But honestly, I hope that’s not for a long time for me. I’m enjoying living out my college years focusing on me, myself, and I.
Lastly, I would just like to point out that there is no defined timeline for your life. Just because Sally Joe had a boyfriend at 14 and Mary Sue got married when she was 22, that doesn’t mean you have to. When it comes to relationships and even life, there is no timeline saying you have to do certain things by a certain age. Last month, I read an article that really stuck out to me… In summary, it read, “… a funny thing happens about the time you hit your twenties… People start asking about graduating college, marriage, then kids, then houses, and then you begin to worry about savings, retirement, and health insurance. You start spending your money on pots and pans instead of cardigans and combat boots. And SOMETIMES you start to compare your 20 years to everyone else’s. You wonder if you’re on the right track because it’s different from all the people you’re surrounded by. Your friends are in serious relationships, people you know are getting engaged, and suddenly you realize you’re the exact age that seemed so far away five years ago. It’s so easy to become controlled by our age. FORGET MOLDS, because as easy as it is to forget, you are free to do what you want with your life. Hold on, slow down, and breathe in. Your age is your age, but more importantly, your life is your life. Don’t change your journey so it matches someone else’s. Revel in your differences and enjoy where you are. Here, right here.”
(Read the article referenced HERE)